"i cant breath"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjCPzDJy-O8&bpctr=1590563413

I saw an angel beyond compare With eyes so pretty and flare, kindness so fair My mind was on air, thinking without care, only knowing that True love is precious, true love is rare

https://newsone.com/3948311/george-floyd-minneapolis-police-victim-identified/?fbclid=IwAR2YUTINX5iVVdiI2wBWXZY3oOm1G4NMPbLjylS59tViC4bZqsHw0ch1EOo

how faith perplexed me

Faith perplexed me for almost my teenage life, but it is something that everyone has though few uses for personal growth, too few these days. Even atheists have faith, they place their faith in science, logic and reasoning, they have faith that God does not exist.
Those who know the struggle, comprehend the importance of faith. We need to believe in something, or we will easily give up. If we lose belief in ourselves, faith will give a way to go on and push through the fear and confusion. It really does not matter at all, what you rely on for inspiration or motivation as long as it is known, that it is more powerful than you and will lead you to better choices. First, we need to clear our thoughts. When things are bad, it is absolutely normal to obsess or observe maybe being skeptical about the situation. "What did I do wrong, why do I deserve this". We may feel as though we are being punished for our bad choices and that things can only get unpleasant and conscience-stricken. All of that pessimistic self talk, is a lie and it is created directly from the fears of our wounded Ego. Ego, is arrogant, it has inconvenience letting go of anything, so the element of yielding or capitulate,is humble and shows we accept our place in the universe, Just a very little part of colossal living things. Let go, or be dragged, the choice is always and always ours.
Humans really need hope, faith, belief, in order to fathom the cruelty and darkness of the universe (world). And sadly organized groups win out of the yearn to discover for yourself. Religion was/is a cultural and world positional thing; not even closed to what it has now become

Even in your eyes, you proved there is something spectacular about you, for a little bit of each of me flowed through your veins of which whenever i see the flames inside your eyes, you can touch my vivid soul. even in your smile the color of your life lit up my world around you, like a rainbow. as you overdosed and soaked on color in your black and white world even your voice spilled a kaleidoscope of color when you spoke of what you love, you knocked me out cold by the radiant colors of your imagination, you kind of lay unconscious in the gray nothingness of reality.

avid darkness

I sit down and look at the lamp illuminating my desk and part of my room
I think back to those special times in my life realizing that I'm never going to experience them again
I then think back to all the things I could have prevented
In a world full of hope, I somehow am the hopeless one
The voice in my head keeps repeating it
I turn around and see the darkness that my lamp protects me from
I know turning it off will not free me but I have to
Shapes start forming from the darkness
"Join us." They say
I'm hesitant at first but then feel nothing at all
I feel nothing
i turn off my lamp
And let the darkness consume me