A heart that is insecure

After suffering through so much,
I'm not certain I can trust once more because I have an insecure heart.
I presume I'll have to trust again to let heartbreaks unfold in order to learn to trust myself and, in the end, regain my safe heart.

So I asked myself??

Is it feasible to have a secure heart?
with all the heartbreak that life brings
How do we instill faith in our hearts?
The assurance that there is more love than heartbreak to let in.
To keep a bit of our heart open rather than closing it.
How do we mend an insecure heart??

Because of such heart insecurities, I never overcome my fears.
I gradually altered my personality to fit into this society.
From dress code to etiquette, from etiquette to my dreams,
I polished them to fit the outlook of it,

But, Chardonnay will flow through my heart one day, purifying it of all its insecurities.
I'll put my heart on a high pedestal for what it's worth one day.
You will witness a rebirth on that day.
The scent was strong enough to frighten the crows away.

An excerpt from a love letter to myself 21st may, 2018

                       Dear me, 
I know you sometimes wake up to the same demons.

I know you look in the mirror and curse your inadequacies and flaws

I'm aware you're in a lot of agony

But believe me when I say that you've got this!

I think I've seen the last of it. It's also rather lovely.

These are trying times. However, you are as well!

It's in your nature to develop.

You were born to succeed.

You were born to bloom.

You will, as well.

Just maintain your composure.

Keep your composure to the end.

The end, when your mental monsters bloom like flowers.

When you finally look in the mirror and recognize yourself, it's time to call it a day.

Just be sure you're sturdy enough to see it through to the end.

Because you are certainly worthy.

You've earned every ounce of it.

And there's more.

Thoughts

So, a friend of mine got so worried about her looks that she confused it with true love, but true love comes from communication, communications comes from taking time to talk, not looks. 

Because his muscles are gonna turn into mush as good as he looks. Her curves will have the tendency to supper size once she has had a couple of kids. I believe that is an ugly mindset to judge people by their appearance.
People only see the tip of the icebergs, and made statements, sometimes harsh off that.
We shouldn't determine a person's worth by appearance, but we also shouldn't forget it as our looks are a part of us, whether we Like it or not.

And for that matter, there is no such thing as "the one" you just have to communicate and build up. 

Of course, that's just my own opinion and should be taken with a grain of salt just don't deceive yourself by pursuing social standards, go against the discrepancy.