The moment i saw her.

 I saw her there

my soul stood in attention

for I met a muse,

I saw her eyes

and I fell down

down the event horizon

I couldn't get out of

I saw her soul,

Which got me to

Fall; 

my brain left me

for another place

where love has its den

I saw her smile

and my desire

became a beast

A beast I say

with a hunt in its eyes

a hunt for passion

a hunt for her.

a hunt for her soul

Not of lust but love

Not of infatuation but of true love.

3AM scribbles

 my anxiety is the reason i don't talk to you. 

My anxiety tells me ; "kiyya you gonna lose her, ready yourself" i fought it off but still

 My relationship with anxiety is an ongoing battle with chains I try and break daily. It is debilitating at times, but I too am ‘determined to knock her out of our house’. I don't handle conflict well, its cause i have to fight with her (my anxiety) before I could fight with you.  When everyone leaves, she is the only relationship i could count on, the longest relationship i have ever been on.

She(my anxiety) sometimes interferes with my meaningful relationships. She and I really don’t get along as well trust me, I would break up with her, but she is me and how can I abandon myself? She shuns others away. It’s safer with just me and anxiety.

But, i hate to lose you,

I don't, and i can't. 

But you seem okay with it.