avid darkness

I sit down and look at the lamp illuminating my desk and part of my room
I think back to those special times in my life realizing that I'm never going to experience them again
I then think back to all the things I could have prevented
In a world full of hope, I somehow am the hopeless one
The voice in my head keeps repeating it
I turn around and see the darkness that my lamp protects me from
I know turning it off will not free me but I have to
Shapes start forming from the darkness
"Join us." They say
I'm hesitant at first but then feel nothing at all
I feel nothing
i turn off my lamp
And let the darkness consume me